Hungry. Dont think d 2 pau-s i bought at 7-11 is enough.. Pain lvl on left hand im ok wif it as it has subside.Wat i cant stand is d coldness. With this blanket oso it seems nt to work. Left hand my fingers can b numb. As in i cn feel d semut2.. Puttg my hand in btwn my thighs fr d heat.Haiz. Hoping it wont do any damage to d veins. Hoping d vein wont die on me due to coldness. Wishing forever fr hubby to just come and give me a suprise. N come bring some food. But i dont think it will ever b true.. Wishful thinking on my part.. Anoter day it is. Today one of the nurses talk to me. Frm our previous chit chat session, I found out her husband suffered kidny problm too n had go fr d sessions. Not until today i knew dat her husband had passed last yr at d age of 52. Dat too was a heart attack durg dialysis session. It seems she is coping it well d loss.. D husband got it wen he was 38. That was young.. He got complications as a weak heart added to d kidney problm.what is amazing on how dis lady can b so calm n strong. To b wif d husband throu thick n thin.. Will i ever get to live to an ol age with someone by my side?? Its a diffrent thing to say one love someone but in times of all this is dat person b able to b there for me like he promised? Seriously i dono what my future lieas ahead. Will i b gettg better or even more worse than this. Will he leave me eventually n fall fr another person?? Will i have any complications?? My dreams will only be dreams. My greatest accomplisment that i have yet to achieve seems so far.. Envy all those mothers..