drama late at nite

tomoro 17th feb will be my 32 weeks in my pregnancy. n it seems i still have maybe 2 to 4 weeks more to go to ur arrival my dear baby.
mummy is so looking forward to your arrival. in fact you my baby is d oni one that is mmotivating and giving me d drive to be strong n bg positive. i will persevere till d very end
to see my dream come true. in dis case u my dear baby. yes u my baby.
im sori that u have to experience tonite episode btwn mummy n daddy. his actions n words during our late dinner cum supper is a disappoinment.
im sory that you haf to listen to his harsh werds and hear mummys crying.
summore we are eating our food. mummy cant stop d tears as mummy clearing up d food he throw food on his plate n ikan goreng on d dining table wile he angry dat i spoke back. he claims i dont get his point and i stil gt cheek to jawab balik. padahal mummy still got plent of food left on mummy plate. terkunci mummy appetite to see wat ur daddy did to me.
but baby dn worry ok. he is not angry wif u.but oni wif mummy. u dn worry about me. u just focus on bg healthy n growing healthily. mummy wants u b strong. mummy loves u wif all my heart.how cn u do dat to me mr husband. im pregnant wif ur child. n u can throw food rezeki away like dat. r u gg to be like dat always depan mknan? klau marah jer mknan pun nk lempar nk buang. kau ingat aku ni apa. kesabaran aku pun ada limit. n kalau aku melenting balik kau suka. aku tau kau akan bangkit kesilapan aku kerna aku gatal ngn laki lain walaupun aku da bersuami. ok tu mmg salah aku silap aku. aku kesal. tapi cant u get over it. we are startg   new beginning. wif our baby . our miracle from Allah to make our lives closer. but perangai kau sama jer kurang ajar .. kata kata kau kasar. aku tk pernah herdik kau. aku tk pernah lempar2 barang kalau geram. aku tk pernah buang nasi tym marah.kau tak tau ker itu rezeki. arggh.. kau nk aku stress. sory sikit la. skrg yg penting kandunganku. aku sayang sgt dia. perangai kau tadi mmg mintak kena sepak.tatkal ko lagi badan besar dari aku n aku still respect ko sbagai suami aku. harapan aku kau akan berubah nanti.

pregnancy journey

pregnancy is at 30 weeks.was asked by doc to do 6 tyms dialysis per week.

haf delayed d 6th session fr a week due to werk issues. doc asked to start my maternity leave early. dis last stage need b xtra careful n haf all d rest n clean my blood as much as i can. so baby b healthy. doc words hit me wen he saes if juz becoz i want to delay the 6 tyms n werry bout my werk issue. if baby is affected becoz of my stubborness we cant reverse back anythg. my csm has asked hr with regards to my maternity. given the greenlight to start early.   juz dat my leave will end in may. it juz means 1 mth lesser it will b spending tym wif our baby. dis 1 mth wile waiting i wanna get d most rest out of my leave n be healthy n strong fr ur delivery. hopefully dis week

i can start d 6 sessions till i give birth to our baby my dear.

i hope im  given the strength n will to hold on till ur safe delivery my dear baby.

doc has given n estimation that i can deliver baby by 34 weeks. but if i can endure

till 36 weeks it b a gd thing. or if ever before 34 weeks my health n baby is at risk, caesarean it will be. nervous excited n scared at the same time. 

last night had a conversation with hubby dearest. if ever comes a point dat sumthing terrible happen to me while giving or after delivery, im content wif having to provide him our miracle baby.  my only wish is become a mother despite my setbacks. i want him 

to take care of baby n love baby as much as he loves me.