incident dat freaked me out

a lesson learnt n hope d rest will learn too.
somthing happened to me last sunday wile i was walkin bck hm frm werk.
n cant believe it happened ryt inside causeway point itself.(near esprit)
wile i was walking towards d interchange as usual,i sense sumone was like following me.
took a glance back saw an indian guy n i walk more faster dis tym.
dis indian guy(dono wetehr he's local or foreigner) got even the cheek to walk up beside me n say "are u free?? i wana talk to u.." me being me thingking could ive drop sumthg wile walking fast say "wat??"
u wana noe wat he says next??
he can juts boldly says to me "i'm feeling lonely here n r u free to talk with me for a wile and we go sumwer else to talk??" my initial reaction was so so duper shock.
i told him "u crazy ah no tym for dis shit" wit a disgusted look n i just walk away. feeling sumhow scared as i walk towards interchange. its like for once im wearing my ocbc red shirt for goodness sake. its like wat d hell is dat guy thinking me as?? a prost.???
dis indian guy looks like in his late 20s or wat he's wearing dis red-hooded sweatshirt.
oh gosh.. i wonder if i kena pukau ker by dia n i walk wif him to a dark place. oh goshh..
after dat incident straitaway i sms my colleague who is stil at werk to tel wat happen n juz let her noe of my wherabout jus in case dat nyt sumthg happened to me.
all d way to d interchange i talk to my bf on hp n let him noe about d incident.
he tol me to be careful n haf a gd lookout of d guy wen im taking d bus. lucky he was not following me at all. mybe he felt scared wen i said to him in a loud tone about d backing off thing.

a lesson learnt for me.. to gals outside jus be extra careful u mite not noe wat happen to u.
jus bring a perfume spray wit u or whistle just in case u noe...d bad happened..
u mite nvr noe dis potential rapists.
he can be jus neone u noe u c..

frens

been away for awhile...

sumthing to talk about: frenship..

readin all dis entries on frenship on random blogs trigger sumtg inside of me.
of my 22yrs of life, i haf to admit i dont even haf a fren as in a single fren to call my own..
y? coz a part of me dont believe in friendship.
ive been betrayed most of the tym wen i tot i could call them my best of frens.
be it my pri. yrs to sec. yrs to my poly years.
u all can jus gang up on me n said im doing dis n dat wrg n everythg u all do is politically ryt??
so ya i haf to admit i treat whoever my frens now jus as it is. dey r my random friends.

but lately dis fren of mine n i hope she wil remain as wat i want her to really be is which is a REAL FRIEND indeed. d sharing of our common tots d advices we gaf one noter. i jus hope u r strong to go through watever u r gg tru now.

isit dat important to have so many frens when u yourself(whoever u r dat is.) knew dat u cant possibly like haf a tight frenship wif lets say 7 of dem?????
will u be like indulging dis 7 your outmost secrets n share wif one anoter??
will dis 7 reali share the same joy n happiness together with you??
will dis 7 not say anythg bad behind your back??
will u be able to like cope d 7 friendships wif each of them without making each 7 jealous??

u can say d more frens d merrier d more u can go out as in big group big laughter yada yada.
to get attention dat is frm d public wif u all humongous laughter n d silly cracking jokes wich i find idiotic?? oh plz..
ya u al can say i practically do not haf a life at all n im a loner who doesnt made d effort to go out evn on all d outings or try to make short calls n dats y i don haf many frens. well dats jus being me. i jus don wana waste precious tym or money or wasting tym to c some of u ur fake faces smiling to one anoter while bitching about one anoter behind one anoters back.
call me a loner. im olryt wif d label as its just a word.. ur actions dont hurt me.

n im selective wen it cum to terms of choosing who i wana be very close wif.
i don need dramas regardg frnship in my life.

oh well.. i believe my life one day will be a better one.
living everyday as it is dat is.

2 people i knew recently gave birth.
one is to a baby boy the other a baby gal.
wishing Ayu and Kak Fau CONGRATS on their new-born.

i miss my azahari.
i miss hugging him.
i long for his touch.

i hope he can make it tomoro n spend tym wit me.
but for sure i noe he be damn tired after he werk d nyt shift tonite.


so many dreams i have but der's dis one goal for sure im werking towards it.
i shouldnt be rushing u all mite say.
but my heart n mind says yes.
starting next year dat is..
cross my fingers.

i love you sayang.
i do.

i wana write dis but how m i suppose to even start yaa..
im not jealous or wat but i jus feel of letting it all out..

ok its like dis..
found out my ex is finally gettg married wich is today.This weekend.frm frenster.
should i ever say my first ever ex.
the one whom i used to be so hung up about.
maybe sum of u my frens will noe d chapter of me n him..

thank god that he finally found d one.
n to d gal, whom i noe her tru a fren fren..
all d best to u.
i gez my ex is now a changed man after all...
i noe dey r in love all thanks to the new gal...
congrats faizal n liyana.

flashbacks there r of what was left behind..
broken hearted m i???

nope..

he did left me sumhow unpleasant memories.
but dat episode make me more strong willed to live my life now.

life.
ups&downs.
lately more downs.but im sure my lyf wil strt to pick up sumhow for d better..
m i really ready for sumthg reali serious??
or m i still wantg to explore d possible outcomes??
i noe deep in my heart i am ready. for us.
but my mind saying not to..

my real me

friendship.dat closeness.

isit a must?
a part of me dont believe in friendship.
who is real?? whose not??
tell you the truth i dont think i have dat type of bond some of u may have compared with any of d friendships i have made so far.
yes, they are friends n i appreciate them lots in my life.n i will try my very best to accomodate d friendship we created.

when you thought u had a friend, a real friend..
but it turn out the other way...
to say that im hurt??
well im not..
yes my friends, you can have your thoughts n opinion on me.
about d way i live my life............

just so u noe...

dis entry is not an entry just to give n excuse to myself or to pacify myself to feel good for the wrongdoings that i have done or will do.

my tots...

ha.. i noe its been ages since i update =p
life could nvr ever bn so blissful..
to b blessed with ur loved one..
having d morale support dat u really needed in tym of needs.
i appreciate ur presence in my life.
ive nvr received neting dat symbolic frm someone.
n ur reason in buying it for me make me cried..
jus to say as each day passes, my love for u is growing more..

If I could escape
And re-create a place as my own world
And I could be your favorite girl
Forever, perfectly together...

happy.. dats wat im feeling ryt now..
cant resist looking at d ring and smile..
ya i noe it be quite sumtym frm now but u juz make my day better..
on sunday we went on a shopping spree for us.. dat is aftr i ended my werk.
i help my darling to decide on a watch he really wanted to buy..(decide in dis seiko watch which he says d face of d watch look more "MAN-LY" my mouth was like dropping as i noe d price..)
den wen to lee hwa to buy a ring for myself(after wich wen i cum back werk d next day my fren tol me citigems haf more discount.. shucks... nvm.. )

n d sweetest thing he took a leave from his so ever busy job to go shopping with me on tuesday(its my off day =p)..
he bought a lot of things for me. easy to be said wateva d things dat i can wear on my body =p
but i nvr forget my part.. bought for him dis polo shirt frm hush puppies n d levi's boxers he wanted(cant wait to c him in dat.. noti me.. =P)

i sitll got another date wif him wich is dis cuming friday.. im off for now till sunday from werk.. dis r d perks wile werking sunday banking. *grins* den on monday il get my salary.. *evil grin*
i cant wait to c my darling again dis friday.. jus hope he don have ne werk las min.. i got a few things line up for him on dat day.. oh gosh im stil looking at my ring now.. n im smiling so widely as ever..
love u darling...n dat sms i gave to u d oter nyt... i meant it frm my heart..

wif love,
jaja.

she's gone... ::28022007::

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all i can say is that im pretty sure im gonna miss my tokmak lots..
i dont want her to go but i dont want her to suffer more if she's in dat condition..
the memories we shared will always be instilled inside me for as long as i live..
u will always be in my prayers tokmak..
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