Been a while that i have put a new post here..
Well.. To begin with what shall i write ya???
Ok first of all nothing much is happening wif frens. i guessthey all are busy with their own lives. Al maklum some haf alrdystarted their full time job.*im happpy for them* n for some they are busy with fyp presentation. Or due to SIP. Or mayb i should be the one msging them instead of waiting for them to msg me.... hmmm.....Just that i miss gg out wif them...i want the ol times back. be it sweetsistaz/dfsy/liza&elly...
With family all is good.
im happy dat my sis just pass her tp ystrday meaning she can buy her own bike =)
she wanted a scrambler.. soo soo happy for her..making me more n more jealous.just wait for me k. i wil prove to u i dat i can haf a car n bike license as well:P
for werk related, well there's still 10 more days of SIP.yahoo!! i mean for sumone who failed her SIP last tym ard due to her malas-ness in attending SIP. I managed to persevere so far dis tym ard. I just wana pass this SIP..
N sumthing interesting happened, LIza's uncle offer we both a business trip to Jakarta.I think it could be somthing relate wif Islamic Banking like wat he talked to us a few mths ago.I really wanted to go.. I mean it wil be a great opportunity for me.to be involved in business related. can widen my knowledge.BUt mummy and abah will say NO. too dangerous for me. being in a foreign land sumore Jakarta. how i wish i could go . i wanna go sumhow.its like someone alrdy given you an opportunity to work under them.
To prove to them your ability in doing sumthing new..
Friday, August 26, 2005
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Sumhow im just bored wif my own life. im bored wif everything that is happening ard me. towards me. i feel like im dis nobody where not even one cares abt me..
frens: dey r great n all!! i miss you all!!
family: dey r as per normal!! i love dem just d way dey r!!
but why m i feeling as if im so alone??
m i ready for anoter r'ship?? i am.
i ve gotten over him dats a 100% guarantee..
i've been becuming more n more malas. malas to wake up early.. malas to eat my medicine.. malas to wash all my baju at hm.. every routine is d same everyday be it at hm or at werkplace. its like im not looking forward to my mundane life. life's getting dull.. i want sumthing new.. exciting..
i just need to get out of dis rut.Fullstop.
frens: dey r great n all!! i miss you all!!
family: dey r as per normal!! i love dem just d way dey r!!
but why m i feeling as if im so alone??
m i ready for anoter r'ship?? i am.
i ve gotten over him dats a 100% guarantee..
i've been becuming more n more malas. malas to wake up early.. malas to eat my medicine.. malas to wash all my baju at hm.. every routine is d same everyday be it at hm or at werkplace. its like im not looking forward to my mundane life. life's getting dull.. i want sumthing new.. exciting..
i just need to get out of dis rut.Fullstop.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
CelebratioN
National Day was spent yesterday wif family.
Went out for our dinner at BaliThai @Tampines Mall.
Wif Abg Aril n Mummy paying d cost.
Ambience was nice. Abg Wan requested for seats by d side window.
Then it was dessert at Gelare. Everyone had their share of ice-cream. flavor was honey malt crunch for me n Arul,KakRa&KakAmy and Mummy&Abah. AbgAril&AbgWan was jamaican chocolate.SEdap.. actuali it was me dat kena blanja but again AbgAril came to d rescue. hehe.. tanx yah... nxt tym my turn yeah.. =)
WEnt out wif Sal day before. Coz i was thinkinng takkan i shall go hm straight wen d follwing day is a public holiday. So we met at tampines mall.. we ate and do some window shopping n jus talk n talk n talk..
Tanx Sal dearie for accompanying me. We had fun..
then i remember on dis day dat we r supposed to window shopping for aisha birthday prezzie, me ema n lin. ema went bac earli coz she's having a bad headache. den sal met us(lin&me) later after we had finished eating. den it was d ferst tym for me to meet dis guy,S. Lucky my frens were there. Coz to tell ya im quite d pemalu type. Wen it cums to meeting sumone for d ferst tym dat is. Having S der wif we gals was kinda like weird. Its like everyone kept quiet after a few sentences were said. hehe.. it kinda repeated for a few tyms. newae S is nice. easy-going, frenly n everything laa.. *wink-wink*
not forgetting d taking pics session wif me n lin n sal. ;) it was nice..
Went out for our dinner at BaliThai @Tampines Mall.
Wif Abg Aril n Mummy paying d cost.
Ambience was nice. Abg Wan requested for seats by d side window.
Then it was dessert at Gelare. Everyone had their share of ice-cream. flavor was honey malt crunch for me n Arul,KakRa&KakAmy and Mummy&Abah. AbgAril&AbgWan was jamaican chocolate.SEdap.. actuali it was me dat kena blanja but again AbgAril came to d rescue. hehe.. tanx yah... nxt tym my turn yeah.. =)
WEnt out wif Sal day before. Coz i was thinkinng takkan i shall go hm straight wen d follwing day is a public holiday. So we met at tampines mall.. we ate and do some window shopping n jus talk n talk n talk..
Tanx Sal dearie for accompanying me. We had fun..
then i remember on dis day dat we r supposed to window shopping for aisha birthday prezzie, me ema n lin. ema went bac earli coz she's having a bad headache. den sal met us(lin&me) later after we had finished eating. den it was d ferst tym for me to meet dis guy,S. Lucky my frens were there. Coz to tell ya im quite d pemalu type. Wen it cums to meeting sumone for d ferst tym dat is. Having S der wif we gals was kinda like weird. Its like everyone kept quiet after a few sentences were said. hehe.. it kinda repeated for a few tyms. newae S is nice. easy-going, frenly n everything laa.. *wink-wink*
not forgetting d taking pics session wif me n lin n sal. ;) it was nice..
Thursday, August 04, 2005
a**hole colleague
To MR BASTARD who thinks he is so fucking ryt all d tym
Since u let it known to d whole world. well let it be known dat i despise u d moment we ferst had our ferst conversation.
I dont need a colleague who always want to win in his every conversation. I dont need someone who is so arrogant. I dont want to ever know someone who doesnt even know how to make a judgment where he himself is worse.
Dont accuse me of things what ive done wif my personal lif. Who are you to judge me u fucking asshole. What right do you have to interfere wif my personal life.
do u noe d meaning of slandering??? i could easily just went up to u n gif u 1 tight slap. but someone stopped me. But i just cant take it cooly. im not one who forgets. if ever der was to be anoter encounter like dis dats it.. you gona get it frm me. dont think im scared of ya im juz waiting for d right moment.. ur past mistake is because of your fucking attitude. we never complained about u. u r d one who is digging your own grave n now u think u haf d right to ruin sumone else life?? just because u think its unfair dat y u kena complained n we dont???!!! well its all due to your so called freedom mouth u arsehole!!
wat d fuck!! everyone in dis office haf d right to do wat dey wanted. its a matter of wether how u noe how to hide it or not. n yes dey pay us 420 at least we must do sum werk. have i not done any work??
even if i slack i noe when im supposed to do my job wen not to do.
have u ever heard d werd multitasking?
cant one person surf d net while at d same time she/he does his werk???
so dont anyhow call ppl names.
u don haf any right to kol me name or slander me wif such comments.
u r a fucking bastard jerk who doesnt noe wen to shut ur mouth up!!!
u kena complained den u want oters to be in d same boat as u??? is dat wat u want??
oh my goodnes such childish acts.
i can call u asshole whole lotta names but i dont.
n im angry wif myself for dat.
u r not worth it to be called even a colleague fren..
talk to me wen oni ders werk stuff to be discussed abt but better still don talk at all..
jus pass me d news or wat to sumone else ferst ok..
Since u let it known to d whole world. well let it be known dat i despise u d moment we ferst had our ferst conversation.
I dont need a colleague who always want to win in his every conversation. I dont need someone who is so arrogant. I dont want to ever know someone who doesnt even know how to make a judgment where he himself is worse.
Dont accuse me of things what ive done wif my personal lif. Who are you to judge me u fucking asshole. What right do you have to interfere wif my personal life.
do u noe d meaning of slandering??? i could easily just went up to u n gif u 1 tight slap. but someone stopped me. But i just cant take it cooly. im not one who forgets. if ever der was to be anoter encounter like dis dats it.. you gona get it frm me. dont think im scared of ya im juz waiting for d right moment.. ur past mistake is because of your fucking attitude. we never complained about u. u r d one who is digging your own grave n now u think u haf d right to ruin sumone else life?? just because u think its unfair dat y u kena complained n we dont???!!! well its all due to your so called freedom mouth u arsehole!!
wat d fuck!! everyone in dis office haf d right to do wat dey wanted. its a matter of wether how u noe how to hide it or not. n yes dey pay us 420 at least we must do sum werk. have i not done any work??
even if i slack i noe when im supposed to do my job wen not to do.
have u ever heard d werd multitasking?
cant one person surf d net while at d same time she/he does his werk???
so dont anyhow call ppl names.
u don haf any right to kol me name or slander me wif such comments.
u r a fucking bastard jerk who doesnt noe wen to shut ur mouth up!!!
u kena complained den u want oters to be in d same boat as u??? is dat wat u want??
oh my goodnes such childish acts.
i can call u asshole whole lotta names but i dont.
n im angry wif myself for dat.
u r not worth it to be called even a colleague fren..
talk to me wen oni ders werk stuff to be discussed abt but better still don talk at all..
jus pass me d news or wat to sumone else ferst ok..
One last Time
Yesterday nyt was d nyt i met Justin for one last tym.
Alaz the exchanging back of stuffs. At my void deck.
I was weak. I cried yesterday. Infront of him. He and I settled issues that's been bothering me.
He turn it out as if everything was my fault.
alaz the words dat i wanted to hear so much.. cos i don take his reason for d breakup 1mth ago as it was like totally crap.. he said he was guilty he was sorry and dat he gotten to noe anoter gal.
he told me he cant understand y do i lied to him like how could he loved someone who was like scared of him.. all my whinings.. isnt tat supposed to be parts n parcel of a r'ship?? nvm.. its over.
wile we talk..i called him a hypocrite coz d gal ryt now is totally opposite of me. ive done everything for you n its like if what his feelings for me is true how could he easily fall in love so soon with anoter person n how could he go wif sumone like dat?? how could after everything we've gone through.. ur uncle passed away.. everything.. i stood by u wen u r jobless.. i don ask alot.. i tried to support u no matter wat knowing dat my financial status is not stable. tried to accomodate ur behaviour and your financial situation. I dont ask alot. I don mind we not going out like other couples. I don mind dat our meeting is always at my voideck coz i know u ant afford to go out n eat. I treasured every moment dat we had. Now u wanted me to pay back d full amt of bill dat u help me to pay?? wen u urself promised you r gg to pay??
Well in d end i did gaf him d full amt wich was 100 yesterdae.
I knew dat he's short of money ryt now. N d oni thing he has is to mk an issue out of my hp bill.
I noe u don haf d money just say dat u r really short n u r in need don say about d bill. coz u urself said u r gg to pay for it. u said haf u ever pinjam my hp at da tym to use.. Well u used it to kol all d companies in d jobs advertisement. U used up my money or like ur ciggies n ur bus fare/taxi fare/train fare wen u r like short of dem. I dont count all dat. N u count about dis hp bill?? u touch on dis sensitive subject about my sickness. how could u.. u noew at ive gone through n wat u said yesterday differs frm wat u said wen we r together... how could u say u r nt able to accomodate my medication bills n stuff n its bettter u let me go?? haiz wat rubbish.. haiz... i juz noe wat goes ard cums ard..
An all u can say is i dont appreciate u cuming at my void deck n i kept whining about nt meeting my frens?? Coz im lonely.. You r not d same d last rocky mth we were together. U keep meeting me for like 5mins or mayb 15 mins den u went off to werk?? what im suppose to feel back den?? insecure i was coz it seems we spending tym much much lesser den before.
n sumhow u stop being mushy towards me being intimate wif me.
what im supposed to feel u tell me..
dono wether he's sincere yesterdae abt him being sad his eys red or mayb dey r jus wolf tears. i dono. i hope he does feel a part of d pain that im having..
gave him one last hug yesterdae before he left. he whisepered in my ear dat if we r really meant we r gg to be together in d end. i told him its not gg to happen. don give me hope n dont fool yourself. you got sumone now. n i run off crying. damn it.. im so weak..
Now i wonder am I really in d wrong in d ferst place..
We r not back together as he is with someone else now..
He's happy on the other side.
i hope u r happy wif your new found love.
prove me wrg dat u both can lasts long. happily til marriage..
coz if u dont last with her, you gona regret letting me go..
d sweetest love dat we bof could haf if u r stil wif me dats wat i promised u..
dats wat faizal proved to me. he's stil wif his current love of his life which im proud of he can stay focused wif one gal at last... im happy for dem both. dey been for like 1 yr plus alrdy.
me??
trying my very best to move on wif my life..
re-accessing what i have done wrg for all d failed relationships dat i had before.
N im sory mummy for crying on ur shoulder yesterday nyt. Im sorry kak ra for throwing my tantrums at u.. I noe u bof r sad as well for me. Dont u worry i'l pick up back d broken pieces of my heart..
Alaz the exchanging back of stuffs. At my void deck.
I was weak. I cried yesterday. Infront of him. He and I settled issues that's been bothering me.
He turn it out as if everything was my fault.
alaz the words dat i wanted to hear so much.. cos i don take his reason for d breakup 1mth ago as it was like totally crap.. he said he was guilty he was sorry and dat he gotten to noe anoter gal.
he told me he cant understand y do i lied to him like how could he loved someone who was like scared of him.. all my whinings.. isnt tat supposed to be parts n parcel of a r'ship?? nvm.. its over.
wile we talk..i called him a hypocrite coz d gal ryt now is totally opposite of me. ive done everything for you n its like if what his feelings for me is true how could he easily fall in love so soon with anoter person n how could he go wif sumone like dat?? how could after everything we've gone through.. ur uncle passed away.. everything.. i stood by u wen u r jobless.. i don ask alot.. i tried to support u no matter wat knowing dat my financial status is not stable. tried to accomodate ur behaviour and your financial situation. I dont ask alot. I don mind we not going out like other couples. I don mind dat our meeting is always at my voideck coz i know u ant afford to go out n eat. I treasured every moment dat we had. Now u wanted me to pay back d full amt of bill dat u help me to pay?? wen u urself promised you r gg to pay??
Well in d end i did gaf him d full amt wich was 100 yesterdae.
I knew dat he's short of money ryt now. N d oni thing he has is to mk an issue out of my hp bill.
I noe u don haf d money just say dat u r really short n u r in need don say about d bill. coz u urself said u r gg to pay for it. u said haf u ever pinjam my hp at da tym to use.. Well u used it to kol all d companies in d jobs advertisement. U used up my money or like ur ciggies n ur bus fare/taxi fare/train fare wen u r like short of dem. I dont count all dat. N u count about dis hp bill?? u touch on dis sensitive subject about my sickness. how could u.. u noew at ive gone through n wat u said yesterday differs frm wat u said wen we r together... how could u say u r nt able to accomodate my medication bills n stuff n its bettter u let me go?? haiz wat rubbish.. haiz... i juz noe wat goes ard cums ard..
An all u can say is i dont appreciate u cuming at my void deck n i kept whining about nt meeting my frens?? Coz im lonely.. You r not d same d last rocky mth we were together. U keep meeting me for like 5mins or mayb 15 mins den u went off to werk?? what im suppose to feel back den?? insecure i was coz it seems we spending tym much much lesser den before.
n sumhow u stop being mushy towards me being intimate wif me.
what im supposed to feel u tell me..
dono wether he's sincere yesterdae abt him being sad his eys red or mayb dey r jus wolf tears. i dono. i hope he does feel a part of d pain that im having..
gave him one last hug yesterdae before he left. he whisepered in my ear dat if we r really meant we r gg to be together in d end. i told him its not gg to happen. don give me hope n dont fool yourself. you got sumone now. n i run off crying. damn it.. im so weak..
Now i wonder am I really in d wrong in d ferst place..
We r not back together as he is with someone else now..
He's happy on the other side.
i hope u r happy wif your new found love.
prove me wrg dat u both can lasts long. happily til marriage..
coz if u dont last with her, you gona regret letting me go..
d sweetest love dat we bof could haf if u r stil wif me dats wat i promised u..
dats wat faizal proved to me. he's stil wif his current love of his life which im proud of he can stay focused wif one gal at last... im happy for dem both. dey been for like 1 yr plus alrdy.
me??
trying my very best to move on wif my life..
re-accessing what i have done wrg for all d failed relationships dat i had before.
N im sory mummy for crying on ur shoulder yesterday nyt. Im sorry kak ra for throwing my tantrums at u.. I noe u bof r sad as well for me. Dont u worry i'l pick up back d broken pieces of my heart..
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Thinking of Ya
Been wanting to go to d rock concert so much at Fort Canning dis Saturday.. 6th August.
was prepared to wear like one hell of a minah rocker just for dat day...
ngn jacket boots celak n everything.. all d accesories ah a rocker wil wear..
wanna c Amy Search( he's lyk d malay version of aerosmith frontman. ahkz..) so so much..
Sumhow i think for sumone who is of my father age, he look kinda kiut..
n i really minat his songs gadisku,rozana,saatku idamkan n etc.. like his voice..
Mati matian ingat ader Search.. Amy Search..
too bad he's not gg to be der so its like
niat utk pergi terpaksa CANCEL.. haizzz... aper nasib...
BUt den again who noes coz my dad keep hinting dat he wana go... he and mummy used to minat rock.. yeah... we'l c...
Nvm if ders a show wif him(Search) involved sumhow i realli realli wana go... hehe...
Weekend was spent temankan dis fren to a wedding dinner invitation(saturday) at pasir ris.
he got no partner n so der i was to save d day.. hehe.. u owe me ya nxt tym ard if i ever need ur help.. Sunday was spent at hm coz ders a kenduri arwah for my auntie to commemorate d 100 days.. everything went smoothly. alhamdulillah.
being me..
im missing dat sumone whoever he is.. to be in my life.. so dat i can share my every moments wif him.. to share him my life. our lives.
was prepared to wear like one hell of a minah rocker just for dat day...
ngn jacket boots celak n everything.. all d accesories ah a rocker wil wear..
wanna c Amy Search( he's lyk d malay version of aerosmith frontman. ahkz..) so so much..
Sumhow i think for sumone who is of my father age, he look kinda kiut..
n i really minat his songs gadisku,rozana,saatku idamkan n etc.. like his voice..
Mati matian ingat ader Search.. Amy Search..
too bad he's not gg to be der so its like
niat utk pergi terpaksa CANCEL.. haizzz... aper nasib...
BUt den again who noes coz my dad keep hinting dat he wana go... he and mummy used to minat rock.. yeah... we'l c...
Nvm if ders a show wif him(Search) involved sumhow i realli realli wana go... hehe...
Weekend was spent temankan dis fren to a wedding dinner invitation(saturday) at pasir ris.
he got no partner n so der i was to save d day.. hehe.. u owe me ya nxt tym ard if i ever need ur help.. Sunday was spent at hm coz ders a kenduri arwah for my auntie to commemorate d 100 days.. everything went smoothly. alhamdulillah.
being me..
im missing dat sumone whoever he is.. to be in my life.. so dat i can share my every moments wif him.. to share him my life. our lives.
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