For Him

To my suprise, you came back into my life...
The msg in frenster.The entry dat i read in ur blog...
I never knew your real feelings for me back den we were together...
If only i had known... Things would have been diffrent... for u n me...

But boy was i wrong... u left me in d cold not knowing what went wrg exactly...
U decide to go to d opposite direction frm me after wat we tot we cld gif it anoter try.
well i guess watever ur feelings for me r not dat sincere last tym... dats all i could assumed..

all i want for us last tym was for u to be totally open wif me coz i do haf a black past too like everyone else...

i moved wif a few guys after dat. But all dat failed. meaning short term r'ships...
n wen i tot i finally found a better guy d guy whom u think is a smart dude, well u r wrg..
he's d worst ever guy i have seen in my life... n we r over for like after half a yr together.
i just cant believe my judgment in guys.
d guys dat ive chosen after you..

All i can say ryt now is im sorry if i had ever treated u badly before..
All i can say is thanks for bringing me out to burger king at dwntown east dis one moment.. wen my face is really bloated up n full of pimples due to my sickness.. u never judge d way i look.. n for dat thanks alot... i appreciate it n will always remember dat moment..

Jodoh di tangan tuhan, if we r really meant for one anoter we will be together in d end tk kira masa...

Now theres only what ifs....

Heard now u r wif sombeody else.. Im happy dats all i can say for you and ur new love...
I hope it will be everlasting this tym ard u n her.. you bof haf my blessings... hope you r doing ok wif ur NS thingy.. may u be blessed wif gd health always...

as for me... d search still continues for d ONE... only tym will tell...

N dis tym for real, il be right here always in frenster and dis blog.

Pics Galore

The Chalet pics have been uploaded... Seriusly i dono how to link it as in album n stuff.. So here it is on dis entry..

am breathing at last..

My Saturday was spent wif my sec sch frens.
before that will like to say dis again to Dila.
A happy 20th belated b'day to u.
Ur b'dae was on d 22nd July.
Tanx for joing us on Saturday.

Back to my Saturday..
The original four dat is. Dila,Yaya,Syikin & plus me.
Been ages since we four went out originally together.WEnt to catch The Island. Movie was great for me coz it has a happy ending.(i lurrve happy endings!! hehe..) minor flaws der is but who cares..
U can kol me Nora 4 Delta.
n im looking for my Lincoln 6 Echo. hehehe..
ahkz..Scarlet JOhanssen is so gorgeous..catch d 4pm show at lido.

After dat, tym was spent window shopping at topshop wif Dila eyeing for dis skirt she's been aiming before d sale.Cant believe d price drop halfway. wich i tink is a gd catch.
Den syikin haf to go hm as it was like nearing 8 alrdy.
D rez of us decide to go jln jln again.
N dis tym we were walking down taka. Den we haf to make a u-turn back coz Dila wanted so much to c d kiut guy,F...

I noticed F frm his back he was sitting at d side wif his "fren" smoking.
SO finally my fren dila n yaya manage to see F, whom i was n stil m going gaga over.
I was like malu tk tentu pasal. i pretend i nvr saw him.
Dila said his "fren" was giving her a look as she throw her ciggie butt kat bin whereas F was like watching staring at me.

Den we decided to go inside taka to haf a drink at coffeebean.

To my amaze,F, actuali went up to his office to gif me a kol saying dat he noticed me.
padahal i da prasan dier dulu. hehehe.

newae at d coffeebean we sit n talk for like hours.a bonding session. i gez i open up to them more dis tym ard.she never talk dat much. except me n dila. reminiscing about our "experiences" inlove,relationships, sec sch. moments.
it was great.i felt as if we r close again. I love you so muchh...
we all went back together as we r taking d NEL. walk home together wif Dila as she is living opposite of me. yeah!! we click for sure..
cant wait for another session like dis. we four.

i pray dat Tan Nur Fadhilah will get d job dat she wanted so much.
Pluz the sweetsistaz dat haf graduated alrdy. Hope dey get d job dat dey wanted so much.


Sunday went to haf breakfaz wif family at Commonwealth.
Hainanese chicken rice was yummy.
Cannot mk it to d hospital with my darlz sweetsistaz to c lin n awal.
Coz Im late furthermore. Canot mk it in tym.

Pray dat Awal,Lin bf, will recover fully n soon.
Hope dat LIn's abrasions will go away fast.
Wishing Awal a happy belated b'day. yg ker 25 or 24 i tink.
Wish dat he n lin wil be happily together ever after.wishing him d best of health n dipanjangkan umur.
n pray dat no evil eyes is cast upon them both.

Miss u gals.. sori for nt meeting u gals on Sunday.
Hope we all an meet up soon.. Muuah..

Chalet FUN

Had a 3days-2nites chalet at Costa Sands Pasir Ris.
It was fantabulously fantastic. =)
some drinking,dancing,eating and skinny dipping was done..(yeah ryt.. asal boleh jer fiza...hehehe..)
All d girls were present. & deir othar halfs. (on bbq nyt, on 2nd nyt)
Except for mine n Zaida n Sri. (Nvm, ders always a nxt tym ryt u gals???)
Nonetheless we had fun...

.::Ferst day::.
Snapping pics here n der,playing heart-attack(Liza's bf,Lan, pukul nye lah kuattt.... sampai merah tangan gue!! grrr... ) , bowling, plus d fact dat d bbq food is yummylicious!! Coz the chicken marinade was nice (credit goes to Zaida&Sal) for staying up on d ferst nyt to do d marinade. Hmm ferst nyt a lil bit of dancing session ( wif the reggae,hip-hop,rnb n etc). Me n Lin asked Sal n Ema to teach us how to dance. Punya lah kekok n kaku kiter berdua.. had our laughters n jokes.. Den Liza join us. Punyer laa smooth drg groove to d music dis 3 gals. Fuyoo!! Gelek sana sini!! Power!! hehe.. Sri aje tk mau join...

.::Second Day::.
came early at abt 6 to d chalet, Play heart attack again dis tym i think i sumhow get my revenge bac.. yeah..kecian sesiapa tgn yg kena pukul by me.. NO ILL FEELINGS yeah.. hehehe.. Bought a hamper present full of chocolates for Zaida. Hope she lyk it..

BBQ nite was great as we gals do not need to do neting. Except for d marshmaloow.. The oter halfs were present so dey r d one to do the "bakar-ing" for us.
(pemalas eh kiter..) der was d mee hoon goreng (power!! ) by LIn, d bbq food, d dessert by SRi( cocktail jelly n gade was fabulos ). Kak Caca(long tym nvr c her, her voice so manja i likkee.. n she so pretty.. ) was present. But she came late. Aisha n Dan came late as well...BBQ nyt was d nyt wer alot of pics were taken. Pics of couples were taken.. I juz wish i had brought sumone along..*wink2* .. More bonding session for we gals n d guys.. How i wish i can overnyt.. Hmm nvm.. nxt tym wen i am 21 yeah.. hehe..

Hmm everything went smoothly as planned. Hmm n i would like to thanks Zaida for making dis chalet thingy a reality. Thanks to the gals for bringing d food. Thanks to the gals for bringing d speakers,discmans n cds. Thanks to all d guys for making the bbq nite livelier. Esp. Liza bf, Lan cracking jokes(untung cik Liza kiter rajin eh dia tlg kemaskan.. hehehe).

The pics will be uploaded soon yeah..
for now i love ya all so much..
cant wait for anoter outing like dis. hehehe...

.::QuaLiTy TiMe::.

Weekend was great.

after a long period of tym, my baby Umai come to visit us on dat saturday aftnoon. i tink she've grown slimmer.BUt den again her kiutness is still der for a 3 yr ol..
She was at her grandma house at jurong west for quite some tym now.
NEW news about her father really irks me.
How could a husband called an ex-wife daging busuk n etc..
padahal kau nyer org nie suppse to be alim warak.
in d ferst place kenaper amik jadi bini kan klau nk kutuk..
lagipun org da "produce"kan anak utk kau lagi..
i hate guys like him.
da lah tak sedar diri.. da bagus tu org amik kau kerana kau katek... muka hitam.
slamat baka family aku putih dan kuat lau tk hitam kulit mcm kau.. tk sedar diri..
Everyone at home was happy and estatic dat she came. Esp. mummy.. "wink-wink"
love u umai so so much.
biler nk stay ngn mummy lagi??

Spent quality tym wif sal,sri,ikin n lin at sri's house upon sri's invitation.lotsa pics were taken witch each digicam..lotsa "bitching" session. lyk real. ahkz..spread of yummylicious food n appetizer.. i lurrvee..Thanks for inviting me yah.. appreciate it..


Sunday morning was spent wif family at tekka.
ferst tym for me to go to deir market.
Nyt tym was spent wif siblings at do&me chicken.
bought home some for mummy n abah.


erti kawan keje.
aku tulis bahasa gini jadi dier tk faham..
dia kan bangsa lain.tapi lau dia dpt tau juger bagus ah dia sedar diri!!
ada ker rakan kerja aku si satu nie nk pinjam duit.
bukannyer aper laa tapi laki nie da laa aku pinjamkan sepuluh ketul dua bulan lalu tetapi sampai skrg tk bagi bagi.
den tadi nk pinjam aku lagi lima puluh ketul.step ckp akan bagi tym gajji.
dulu nye gaji dtg pun tk byr aku pun..
aku cuma heran... klau camtu sampai biler aku nk dpt balik duit aku.
slamat aku ckp aku takde duit aku tgh kering jugak.dgr crita baru masa aku sampai kejer. critanyer like dis..si deknie ader ker mintak kwn kjer aku yg lain bukan lima puluh tapi seratus dok.amik kesempatan ajer deknie. gerammm...
da laa aku fedup ngn perangai dier..
asyik nk menang jer dlm perbualan.da lah kutuk agama aku.. pi dahh....
tatkal jer aku sabar coz aku kene kejer kat cni lagi lama klau tidak da meletup aku!!

REaL FaCTS

What right do you have to diss me about the pics that i put in my display pic?? Its mine n I have every right to put what I want. Your opinion doesnt matter to me anymore. U calling my pic a s**dal whereas your new gal is d one who is a s**dal by fact.

**Ur opinion doesnt matter to me coz im not yours anymore**

and remember...

a jerk+asshole will always be a jerk+asshole**in dis case its you**

I got no time to entertain you. All i noe my stuffs is given back by the end of this month.

In d meantime,do behave like an adult ok??

And to get the facts straight...

to what extent is my lie??

compared to yours??

On the Line

Met the gals on the 6th.. Some were not present due to conflicting schedules.. Meeting was at tampines mall.. Even thou i came late to meet them I guess it was worth it afterall.. Y?? Hmm to get to see their telatah-ness again.. Betulll like small kids.. Esp. Liza!! We had our laughters ,serious conversation period,laughters again and again. It seems like ders alot to talk about.
Meeting was to discuss about the chalet thingy event that will be held on 19-21 July at downtown east.
Im not quite sure wether I could overnite there. It all depends on my parents you see..
After meeting them, met my parents and bro who was actuali at tampines mall as well.. We den proceed towards changi village to eat for our late nite supper.. Cant believe that dis day(6/7/05) turned out well for me... *wink-wink*

The talks that we gals had.. makes me ponder... about life. about frenship... Sumone will go and sumone new will come into ur life. Or like me, Im one who tenggelam timbul. ahakz.. i swear dis tym ard im not gg to do dis act again no matter wat. Realised the importance of frenship. Coz without them I'll be lonely right here. And judging from the entries that some of the galz wrote, I understand the position that they are in. Misunderstandings n stuff.. To me this just parts and parcel of life. Like ive said, If we really treasure that someone dearly... no matter what problems or misunderstandings dat occured, we must make it a must to work things out. Sincerity in frenship is important.
Im not going to take ne sides as all of them are my frens... Its jus the timing for all of us thats all. So im blaming the bad bad bad timing.... maybe we feel bad coz we cant attend some of the events but thats life.. Yes i admit even thou Im kping in touch back with them again, it will take some tym for me to actually get back close to them coz ive been MIA for like nearly half a yr I guess.. Or more.. i love them all coz they are not one who will judge you but a teguran yes they will if they think what you are doing is wrg. Like an advice dat is but again it all depends on us wether we want to accept.
Just to say that i love being in the company of frens.
I appreciate them being in my life.
To you my gerlfrens, I love ya all...

Happy Birthday

To my dearie , Zaida...

A HAPPY BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY... yg ke 22 dat is...
I gez I am one day late in wishing u.. But then d thought that counts yah.. hehe...

Wishing you all d happiness in your life...
Wif family & wif your guy...
Wishing you all the best in whatever you do...
n no matter what d outcome be it bad jgn putus asa okies...
Moga you dipanjangkan umur dimurahkan rezeki.
Moga you sihat walafiat selalu.
N lastly may our frenship kekal forever n ever n ever okies..
Kp in touch always ya my dear sweet fren...

your sweet darlingz,
fiza.

SuN RiSe

A new day.
A new beginning for me.

Life seems to be so full of suprises...

Everything has been put behind.
Priorities have been set.
New goals are set.

Life has to go on & I thank God that Ive managed to keep in touch with my old frens.
To the sweet galz, my one n oni Lizawati and my sec sch frens... Thanks for understanding and showing dat you galz cared for me... You gals are the only one left that is keeping me sane..

Being the optimistic that I am, I believe there's that someone out there who's really meant for me, smitten by me and appreciate me for who I am and foremost love me for who I really am.

.::As Expected::.

I felt used. I felt wasted.
All due to his lies. LIES upon LIES..
I tot faizal was d worst i had encountered in my life but justin is more worse than him.
shocking revelations today. by the pictures. OMG!!!

Thank God that HE d ALMIGHTY show me justin true colors.
Thanks to dis guy in AM who tell me the truth about him.
To the new gal, whom i actually knew in a way, good luck...
All the best and happy marriage yah?
I just hope d marriage do takes place wif d tok kadi or lets say any civil marriage and not just on d bed yah...


Yes i may be a sinner...
But im not as lowly and deceitful as these two guys or lets just say pluz the gal as well...

Cant believe the obstacles/tests that GOD has set upon me...
I just hope i have the strength to carry on wif my life after this whole fiasco...

stupidity

an idiotic i am.. why?? fucking believe that someone is so the innocent and he's really at a lost...
padahal he hve a new gal ryt now.. FUck him he can go to hell for all i care. Fuck your reason wich is nonsense. Made me believe that you want to convert back. when all your real reason is actually u found yourself a new bloody gal. hmm who wears tank top n stuff.. Hate myself for agreeing towards your sayings such as not to wear dis not to wear makeup n stuff... not to wear any revealing clothes.. you are just one pathological liar i've ever saw in my life. eh nope i tink after faizal. you are d second guy jasli or justin or watsoever your name is.. I hate myself i just can believe that i am one stupid gal to have fallen into your trap.. first love n last love or so i tot..

feelings for him still inside of me?? nope n dis tym around i really meant it.. he sucks big tym. he create stories. he can go to hell for all i care. n for me to even introduce him to my family.. im not one to be toyed around with. you made my life miserable n im not just going to stand around here doin noting wile u jolly well enjoy urself in d company of anoter gal.. its not dat i want you back but i juz despise the things that you have said n you lied to me..
hmm... i wonder how many gals haf you lied your way tru to get to their pussy???? !!!!